send in your skeletons, sing as their bones come marching in

I still think this is the best mix I've ever made.

1. "Summertime" - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
2. "She's a Rebel" - Green Day
3. "Love You Madly" - Cake
4. "The Way We Get By" - Spoon
5. "In My Life" - the Beatles
6. "Live Forever" - Oasis
7. "Five Years" - David Bowie
8. "Karma Police" - Radiohead
9. "I'm Bound to Pack It Up" - the White Stripes
10. "It Ain't Easy" - David Bowie
11. "Life Wasted" - Pearl Jam
12. "The Sounds of Silence" - Simon and Garfunkel
13. "Jigsaw Falling Into Place" - Radiohead
14. "Wish You Were Here" - Pink Floyd
15. "What Became of the Likely Lads" - the Libertines
16. "Make You Feel Better" - Red Hot Chili Peppers
17. "Poprocks and Coke" - Green Day

then again, maybe it's not quite the same if you don't know the story.

the things you love become the things you'll miss.

I just realized that - in the last couple weeks - I've worn almost nothing but my Red Sox, Dropkick Murphys and Boston University shirts. I AM SO READY TO LIVE IN BOSTON.

you know what I missed when I was walking down the streets at orientation, though? I missed the city of Pittsburgh. which doesn't make a whole lot of sense, because it's not like I live in town or even all that close. but I missed knowing where I was in relation to PNC Park, or the Mellon, or the South Side, or Pitt, or any one of the rivers or bridges. I missed seeing people in Lemieux and Crosby jerseys. hell, I even started feeling nostalgic for Steeler merchandise. good thing the Bruins wear black and gold too - small comfort.

I keep threatening that I'm going to come back with an obnoxious Boston accent, but really it's far more likely that I'll develop a Pittsburgh affectation I never even had here. just "yinz" all over the place to remind me of home a little. man, I'm going to have to explain so many times that no, I'm not from Philly, and you couldn't pay me to live in that hellhole. ;D

oy. I'm glad to be going far away to school, so very very glad. the change is gonna do me so much good, and I'm going to see the Dropkick Murphys on Saint Patrick's Day and live next to Fenway (seriously, the ballpark is literally a block from my dorm). but even as I'm typing this - home, in Greensburg - my heart's aching a little for Pittsburgh.

i'm done resenting you, you represented me so well

the main thing I'm going to miss about my friends next year - the few people I've managed to make it to the end of senior year with - is, I think, how comfortable I am with them. you wouldn't have known it from most of my friendships up until the last two years or so, but you're supposed to be able to randomly burst into song around your friends. you're supposed to be able to make weird noises for no real reason and have them reciprocate.

this takes time. I'm okay at being pleasant and somewhat sociable, but I'm not the kind of kid who has fifteen best friends and another twenty kids she's pretty close with. it takes me a long, long time to get comfortable with anyone, and it has to be the right person, too.

even the days when I can't stand my friends, I know I can despise them for a couple hours and come back, because that's what we do. I guess I already know what it's like starting over, burning the past and losing people who in retrospect didn't do much for me anyway, but I've never done it without Eric. out of everyone here, no matter how much he irritates me sometimes, I'm going to miss that boy the most of anyone outside my family.

one more chance to get it all wrong

this is a little bit random, a little bit pointless, but prompted by a song that keeps following me. like a lot of things in my life, I guess. Paul Westerberg won't let me forget it.

I don't think you read this (then again, I don't think anybody does) but if you do, I know you know who you are: and I'm sorry. I know I said it to you a long time ago, but I should have said it more. I fucked up. and I needed to, actually. but it could have ended better. a lot better. and that was up to me. and I'm so, so sorry. there's probably a better way to communicate this, but this is what I've got.

what was really unexpected

in a group consisting of my two best friends and me (or really, in any group), I never, ever expected to be the one who was actually okay with standing in front of a bunch of people and making a total ass of herself for a laugh.

I never expected to be the one who not only didn't have stage fright, but was comfortable up there, impatient when everybody else wasn't as comfortable. but I was.

I don't know when that happened. I'm really rather unaccustomed to feeling fearless.

Stephen's kind of my hero. I have a feeling he might approve.

"under the right circumstances, disco metal can make you cry. it can make you walk into walls."

dude.

I think I need to start updating from school. things worth writing come to me there and by the time I get home, staring at Quark XPress for two hours trying to send a magazine has basically beaten it out of me, and I just crash until whatever hockey game is on that night comes on. (on that note, this is late but WOOOOOO HAWKS! I knew they could do it all along, Luongo is basically the only thing Vancouver has going for them. and Pens v Caps tonight. the first Game 7 I've truly paid attention to in my life. I may die. whether of joy or frustration remains to be seen.)

however, staying after today did yield this:

"dude...I am NOT going to sit here and PDF this again just because you had to be Jack's smirking revenge."

Fight Club subterfuge ftw. makes the magazine work bearable at times.

you're never too old

now we sit atop monkey bars

we used to hang on

balance precariously

and wait out our last month here.