home, home, HOME.

1. I never realized how fantastic it was to have Pens games in HD, on a TV, until I had them in grainy, crappy quality on my computer instead. <3

2. coming into Pittsburgh through the Fort Pitt tunnel will never, ever, ever get old. <33

3. it's not as weird as I thought it would be to be home; however, I swear the kitchen table is shorter than it previously was.

4. my brother is currently playing "Just Dance" on the guitar. I missed having COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS renditions of songs playing in the background of my life at all times.

5. it is good to be home. sort of have no idea what's going on, but am enjoying it nonetheless.

everybody knows this is nowhere

six days from today I'll be back home.

the fact that my definition of "home" is about to splinter is pretty strange and overwhelming; not that it feels like home here, really, but I know that soon, when I'm not here, I'll miss it, which to me is one of the more important characteristics of a home.

the more places you love, the more places you have to miss.

so it's not really a secret right now that I've fallen for Boston - for living in the city, running by the river, hearing the train going past fourteen floors below my window every night, public transportation, two hockey rinks within four blocks of each other, seeing Fenway from my window, Dunkin Donuts everywhere, being around people who for the most part are not from around here. I love it.

but. I still want to go everywhere. I want my car and I want to drive west. I have spent twenty days of my life west of Chicago, and while that's pretty damn good, and I know I've been lucky, it really just means that as much as I love it here in Red Sox Nation (because this is a baseball town even in the winter, the Bruins get no love compared to the Pens), of course I want to go back west. I spent a grand total of three days in New Mexico, yet I'm managing to miss it. New Mexico, Colorado, California, Oregon, I'm telling you, all I want next summer is to go back. and drive back so I can really see what's in between, and not just as neat little Midwestern squares as I fly over.

I've seen the Northeast. I've seen every blue state east of Illinois and north of Virginia (except, I think, Vermont), and I want a change of scenery. if only to make me miss home again (and whether I mean home in Boston or home in Greensburg I don't rightly know).

if i stay in one place i lose my mind, i'm a pretty impossible lady to be with

I keep thinking of things I should post and then not doing it. I guess I get distracted, or decide they're not worthy, or whatever.

there are some pretty awesome characters in my life here. this kid I hung out with last night, Sam - I met him the first week here - he's the spitting image of Kurt Cobain, with shorter hair. no actual similarities between the two, though, Sam is kind of obsessed with and in love with everything and everyone in the world all at once. when I randomly see him passing through Kenmore Square he stops and hugs me and everyone who's with me, which is quite amusing. the first night I met him was at a concert, the duration of which he spent staring openmouthed at the stage, as if they were absolutely blowing his mind. I've now seen him do this for three other bands and an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia." and I honestly think it's genuine.

loads more. I live across the hall from a Jewish feminist from Cleveland who's letting me steal basically her entire iTunes library this weekend. I'm friends with a boy from the Bronx who loves Katy Perry and is wearing bright red jeans today (and is actually straight). and I've come to the conclusion that people from Kentucky apparently have more intense southern accents than people from Tennessee, even though Tennessee is farther south. the things you learn in college.

don't fuck this up, america.

reminder to self:

you didn't go to college so you could act like you were still in high school.

you didn't go 500 miles away so you could do the same stupid shit you did in Latrobe for eighteen years.

you didn't deliberately surround yourself with all new people so you could fade into the background and watch everyone else connect, again.

you didn't make a change like this happen because you didn't want to change with it.

so stop fucking sitting around waiting for what you want to come to you, because it never has before and there's no reason it's going to start now. make it happen. put on your Red Sox hat and be somebody else. be somebody better than you were. you didn't leave home for nothing.