you know what's bullshit? "the longer you have to wait, the more prepared you'll be when you finally find the person who's right for you."
bull. shit. the longer you have to wait, the more nervous you are that you don't know what the fuck you're doing and everyone else does. the more convinced you become that you are completely undesirable, because people who are less interesting or less attractive than you get all kinds of guys, so there must be something deeply, unchangeably wrong with you that you can't even figure out. the more everyone else develops a backstory and a set of ex-whatevers they can refer to, and the more you have to lie and make things up. the longer you have to wait, the farther behind you are, and the less likely you are to ever catch up or find anyone who likes you the fucked-up way you are. that's all.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
attack of manbearpig
just walked a mile in what weather.com says feels like 10-degree weather. some of the snowbanks up the street are taller than me. I could literally disappear into them. Boston is a polar ice cap right now, snow-cover-wise.
you know what else Boston is? it's built on a landfill, same as San Francisco, or most of it is anyway. where I'm sitting right now, this whole part of town, used to just be the Massachusetts Bay. and if there's ever an earthquake of significant magnitude in New England, close enough to the city, the loosely-packed ground under this dorm will liquefy and the whole Back Bay neighborhood will sink into it, anywhere from a few inches to several feet. that includes Fenway Park, and that includes everywhere I've ever lived away from home. there have been earthquakes out here, too. nothing in the last hundred years to compete with the West Coast, but out on the Cape there was one in the 1800s that they felt in New Hampshire and western Mass and all over.
get to the edges of the country while you can, yo. New Orleans is sinking as the water's rising, the next great coastal earthquakes could cripple San Fran and Boston. there's great stuff out here, come see it before we all have to move to Kansas.
earth science is the only science that's ever been remotely interesting to me, you see (besides space'n'planets, that is...and dinosaurs...okay, applied science can be awesome, it's just bio/physics/chem that I hate). how the Midwest is flat like it is because it got rolled over by glaciers during the last Ice Age, how New York and New England are actually rising upward, 18,000 years later, as a result of those glaciers retreating off of them. how it was probably a volcano in Mexico that got the dinosaurs, and you can still go see the crater.
100 percent unrelated to all this, MLB Network named Andrew McCutchen the best center fielder in baseball today. my boy. I couldn't be prouder of him and I think they're right. kid's going places.
my dad and I were discussing the Pirates a couple months ago and he was being pessimistic as ever, and I said, "well, my great hope for Walker and McCutchen is that they end up Red Sox, so I can still watch and love them." he said, very earnestly and seriously all of a sudden, "no, you know what? my great hope is that they win the World Series as Pirates in 2014, and Neil Walker wins the Series MVP." and he walked away.
the moral of this post: Boston may be hit by an earthquake and fall into the bay before the Pirates win the World Series, but that doesn't mean I'll stop believing.
you know what else Boston is? it's built on a landfill, same as San Francisco, or most of it is anyway. where I'm sitting right now, this whole part of town, used to just be the Massachusetts Bay. and if there's ever an earthquake of significant magnitude in New England, close enough to the city, the loosely-packed ground under this dorm will liquefy and the whole Back Bay neighborhood will sink into it, anywhere from a few inches to several feet. that includes Fenway Park, and that includes everywhere I've ever lived away from home. there have been earthquakes out here, too. nothing in the last hundred years to compete with the West Coast, but out on the Cape there was one in the 1800s that they felt in New Hampshire and western Mass and all over.
get to the edges of the country while you can, yo. New Orleans is sinking as the water's rising, the next great coastal earthquakes could cripple San Fran and Boston. there's great stuff out here, come see it before we all have to move to Kansas.
earth science is the only science that's ever been remotely interesting to me, you see (besides space'n'planets, that is...and dinosaurs...okay, applied science can be awesome, it's just bio/physics/chem that I hate). how the Midwest is flat like it is because it got rolled over by glaciers during the last Ice Age, how New York and New England are actually rising upward, 18,000 years later, as a result of those glaciers retreating off of them. how it was probably a volcano in Mexico that got the dinosaurs, and you can still go see the crater.
100 percent unrelated to all this, MLB Network named Andrew McCutchen the best center fielder in baseball today. my boy. I couldn't be prouder of him and I think they're right. kid's going places.
my dad and I were discussing the Pirates a couple months ago and he was being pessimistic as ever, and I said, "well, my great hope for Walker and McCutchen is that they end up Red Sox, so I can still watch and love them." he said, very earnestly and seriously all of a sudden, "no, you know what? my great hope is that they win the World Series as Pirates in 2014, and Neil Walker wins the Series MVP." and he walked away.
the moral of this post: Boston may be hit by an earthquake and fall into the bay before the Pirates win the World Series, but that doesn't mean I'll stop believing.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
and i think to myself, what a wonderful world
here's how my first 48 hours back in Boston went:
- touched down in Logan, took a shuttle that I never knew existed back to campus. went to the newspaper office, where I was until roughly 2:15 AM.
- slept from about 3:20 AM to 5:25 AM, went to the radio station for a 6-8 AM show.
- passed the fuck out from 8:30-10:30. this was my night's sleep.
- had class, came back to the newspaper office, was here until 3:45 AM because of a goddamned Russian-novel-length basketball preview. went to sleep at like quarter to 5 AM.
the not being dependent on caffeine thing was happening. I don't foresee it happening for much longer. mmmm Dunkies coffee, in which you can't even taste the coffee because of the liquid tons of cream.
it's not all bad. it's not even mostly bad. it doesn't even really get dark at night where I live. that is, 7 PM looks about the same as 4 AM, and the sky gets more grayish than black, or at least that's how it looks in the middle of Kenmore Square. at 4 AM.
and snow in the city is weird, because there's nowhere to put it once they scrape it off the streets, so they just pile it up along the sidewalks, and the eight-year-old in me wants nothing more than to climb on it. I mean, fifteen-foot-high stalagmites of frozen-over, old gray snow, piled up against streetlights and consuming mailboxes and bike stands (I saw a bike that was 85 percent buried. unreal). what else am I supposed to do on my way to class?
the morning of the radio show I was walking to the station at about 5:50 AM, the T had just started running again and it had just started snowing a little. when my co-DJ and I left at 8 there were two inches of snow on the ground and more falling, and it was quiet. you know how it gets quiet when there's a sudden huge snowfall? those big frozen-over piles of ice had all this new snow on them, and you couldn't find the crosswalks so people were just crossing everywhere. couldn't see the train tracks, anything. we just kind of walked along in awe.
and then it rained like three hours later, and there were knee-deep puddles down the street from my dorm. weatherpocalypse 2011.
I'm in this rad history class that's history of the US, 1968-present, and today we talked about our first "public" memories, i.e. the first time we realized there was a bigger world outside our house/school/family. mine's the 2000 election, which made me think that every election had to be decided in a recount that went on for months. that or the fact that every time I wanted to watch Sesame Street during 1995, the OJ Simpson trial was on, and it pissed me off.
I could ramble forever. I have all these middles of stories written and only a few beginnings. I might go to Dublin this fall. the only reason I can keep my eyes open right now is caffeine. I want to get an apartment off campus next year. I love Boston and I never want to leave. I can't wait to permanently move to San Francisco. I wanna be a professional baseball player. I also want a new camera, and to go to a good concert. and I want to see this kid I've been missing for like a month (saw him the other night but it was brief) and to listen to Cee-Lo Green. at least I have the means for that last one. peace.
- touched down in Logan, took a shuttle that I never knew existed back to campus. went to the newspaper office, where I was until roughly 2:15 AM.
- slept from about 3:20 AM to 5:25 AM, went to the radio station for a 6-8 AM show.
- passed the fuck out from 8:30-10:30. this was my night's sleep.
- had class, came back to the newspaper office, was here until 3:45 AM because of a goddamned Russian-novel-length basketball preview. went to sleep at like quarter to 5 AM.
the not being dependent on caffeine thing was happening. I don't foresee it happening for much longer. mmmm Dunkies coffee, in which you can't even taste the coffee because of the liquid tons of cream.
it's not all bad. it's not even mostly bad. it doesn't even really get dark at night where I live. that is, 7 PM looks about the same as 4 AM, and the sky gets more grayish than black, or at least that's how it looks in the middle of Kenmore Square. at 4 AM.
and snow in the city is weird, because there's nowhere to put it once they scrape it off the streets, so they just pile it up along the sidewalks, and the eight-year-old in me wants nothing more than to climb on it. I mean, fifteen-foot-high stalagmites of frozen-over, old gray snow, piled up against streetlights and consuming mailboxes and bike stands (I saw a bike that was 85 percent buried. unreal). what else am I supposed to do on my way to class?
the morning of the radio show I was walking to the station at about 5:50 AM, the T had just started running again and it had just started snowing a little. when my co-DJ and I left at 8 there were two inches of snow on the ground and more falling, and it was quiet. you know how it gets quiet when there's a sudden huge snowfall? those big frozen-over piles of ice had all this new snow on them, and you couldn't find the crosswalks so people were just crossing everywhere. couldn't see the train tracks, anything. we just kind of walked along in awe.
and then it rained like three hours later, and there were knee-deep puddles down the street from my dorm. weatherpocalypse 2011.
I'm in this rad history class that's history of the US, 1968-present, and today we talked about our first "public" memories, i.e. the first time we realized there was a bigger world outside our house/school/family. mine's the 2000 election, which made me think that every election had to be decided in a recount that went on for months. that or the fact that every time I wanted to watch Sesame Street during 1995, the OJ Simpson trial was on, and it pissed me off.
I could ramble forever. I have all these middles of stories written and only a few beginnings. I might go to Dublin this fall. the only reason I can keep my eyes open right now is caffeine. I want to get an apartment off campus next year. I love Boston and I never want to leave. I can't wait to permanently move to San Francisco. I wanna be a professional baseball player. I also want a new camera, and to go to a good concert. and I want to see this kid I've been missing for like a month (saw him the other night but it was brief) and to listen to Cee-Lo Green. at least I have the means for that last one. peace.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
see you drivin' round town with the girl I love, and I'm like-
fuck all the rest of this, I'm being a rock star.
it doesn't matter that I can't write songs, or at least, that the songs I'm writing right now are nowhere near where I want them to be.
I used to be a goddamn good guitar player and there's no reason I can't get there again.
at home I live with a kid who's ten thousand times better than me and can push me; at school I've got a buddy to jam with who's right about at my level, and I can't have him getting better than me.
there is a place you can get playing music with the right people (or even by yourself), a place I've never been able to get to any other way.
I'm going back there.
it doesn't matter that I can't write songs, or at least, that the songs I'm writing right now are nowhere near where I want them to be.
I used to be a goddamn good guitar player and there's no reason I can't get there again.
at home I live with a kid who's ten thousand times better than me and can push me; at school I've got a buddy to jam with who's right about at my level, and I can't have him getting better than me.
there is a place you can get playing music with the right people (or even by yourself), a place I've never been able to get to any other way.
I'm going back there.
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