the main thing I'm going to miss about my friends next year - the few people I've managed to make it to the end of senior year with - is, I think, how comfortable I am with them. you wouldn't have known it from most of my friendships up until the last two years or so, but you're supposed to be able to randomly burst into song around your friends. you're supposed to be able to make weird noises for no real reason and have them reciprocate.
this takes time. I'm okay at being pleasant and somewhat sociable, but I'm not the kind of kid who has fifteen best friends and another twenty kids she's pretty close with. it takes me a long, long time to get comfortable with anyone, and it has to be the right person, too.
even the days when I can't stand my friends, I know I can despise them for a couple hours and come back, because that's what we do. I guess I already know what it's like starting over, burning the past and losing people who in retrospect didn't do much for me anyway, but I've never done it without Eric. out of everyone here, no matter how much he irritates me sometimes, I'm going to miss that boy the most of anyone outside my family.
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its always fun looking back and seeing who feel out right before the finish line. I know i've done it. It's kinda depressing too
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