"from the convent to the rectory and over in the sacristy,
I'm a goddamn travesty and that's just my luck"
this may be [at least a small part of] why I love the Dropkick Murphys so much right now. I fail at being Catholic. but then again, being Catholic is kind of about failing at being Catholic. (and then feeling guilty about it.) it's a fulfilling faith, this one.
I like to believe in God. sometimes this makes sense to me, sometimes it doesn't. sometimes thinking so much about eternal life somewhere on a cloud just irritates me, because it makes me feel like I shouldn't love the life I already have. and I do love the life I have. it's not a coincidence that some (not all, but some) of my darkest days this year were also my most God-fearing.
that's not fair, though. there was a day in January this year that I don't know if I'd have survived if I hadn't gone to St. Benedict Church. some days, you need something to believe, when everything else has given out on you.
now, though. I believe in my life (after all, it's the one thing that will last...my entire life. ;P this sounds retarded but actually means something to me) and the things that comprise it. when I try to write about it, it starts to make less sense, which is why I don't write about it much. but I believe in love and music and family and friends and hockey. I've had more "religious experiences" in hockey rinks than churches, to be quite honest.
I think this is also why I like A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man so much - James Joyce can be a bit dense to read, yeah, but the crux of the whole book is Stephen deciding between being an artist and being a Catholic (or a Christian at all). for him, his art is religion, and he can no more be a Catholic and an artist than he could be a Catholic and a Muslim. and I actually enjoyed writing a six-page research paper about this. (okay, it's possible I'm just a giant nerd.) but I remember telling my best friend years ago that as Hendrix once said, music virtually is religion for me. I'm a completely different person now than I was then, but maybe that hasn't changed. I'm not sure if I'd say it has or it hasn't.
maybe it's just an Irish thing. I'm Irish, so is James Joyce, so is Ken Casey. maybe we're just doomed to bicker back and forth with the Pope till the day we die.
I'm a goddamn travesty and that's just my luck"
this may be [at least a small part of] why I love the Dropkick Murphys so much right now. I fail at being Catholic. but then again, being Catholic is kind of about failing at being Catholic. (and then feeling guilty about it.) it's a fulfilling faith, this one.
I like to believe in God. sometimes this makes sense to me, sometimes it doesn't. sometimes thinking so much about eternal life somewhere on a cloud just irritates me, because it makes me feel like I shouldn't love the life I already have. and I do love the life I have. it's not a coincidence that some (not all, but some) of my darkest days this year were also my most God-fearing.
that's not fair, though. there was a day in January this year that I don't know if I'd have survived if I hadn't gone to St. Benedict Church. some days, you need something to believe, when everything else has given out on you.
now, though. I believe in my life (after all, it's the one thing that will last...my entire life. ;P this sounds retarded but actually means something to me) and the things that comprise it. when I try to write about it, it starts to make less sense, which is why I don't write about it much. but I believe in love and music and family and friends and hockey. I've had more "religious experiences" in hockey rinks than churches, to be quite honest.
I think this is also why I like A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man so much - James Joyce can be a bit dense to read, yeah, but the crux of the whole book is Stephen deciding between being an artist and being a Catholic (or a Christian at all). for him, his art is religion, and he can no more be a Catholic and an artist than he could be a Catholic and a Muslim. and I actually enjoyed writing a six-page research paper about this. (okay, it's possible I'm just a giant nerd.) but I remember telling my best friend years ago that as Hendrix once said, music virtually is religion for me. I'm a completely different person now than I was then, but maybe that hasn't changed. I'm not sure if I'd say it has or it hasn't.
maybe it's just an Irish thing. I'm Irish, so is James Joyce, so is Ken Casey. maybe we're just doomed to bicker back and forth with the Pope till the day we die.
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