Friday, April 2, 2010

bittersweet migraine in my head

my school just did its own little "post secret" thing; I submitted a secret and then, upon reading the others, realized I had several more I wanted to get out there in some way:

- I just don’t get as happy when Evgeni Malkin scores as I do when anybody else on the Penguins scores. Even Gonchar.

- I haven’t been to church yet in Boston, and I feel less guilty about that than about the fact that I don’t really want to go.

- I don’t think the kid I’ve most recently referred to as my best friend is honest with me most of the time, and that makes me really angry. I don't think it'll ever be resolved.

- I want to live in Allston and wear worn-out old clothes and be cool and go to cafes in the morning, and have friends who are in a band with me and make excellent, transcendent music and keep ridiculous hours. The whole experience would give me quite a lot of interesting things to write about.

- I also really want to cover the BU men’s hockey team for the Freep by my junior year. I feel like this and the previous desire are sort of incompatible.

- I don’t want to smoke weed -or anything - at all, but a lot of the people I want to hang out with do.

- Knowing that other people are sad makes me sadder than almost anything.

- I always assume that at least 65% of the world has its shit more together than I do, and that the other 35% are absolute messes.

- I don’t want to live in New York at all anymore. I had thought this might happen upon moving to Boston.

- Even though the year has been an absolute roller coaster so far and I’m still in transition, I think I made a good choice in coming to BU.

- The thought of getting married terrifies the shit out of me. It’s so final. To say nothing of having kids.

- I want to start following baseball intensely this year, but I’m seriously afraid of being exposed by die-hard Sox Nation people as a relative noob.

- I have dreamed about being in Prague on more than one occasion, despite the fact that I’ve never been there. It’s always a little run-down but heartbreakingly beautiful in my dreams. It also rains a lot.

- I hate wearing high heels so much that the thought of it actually makes me angry. And I hate when girls are like “you’re just trying to be overly tomboyish/stubborn/whatever,” no, I am being LOGICAL and pragmatic. They fucking hurt. I do not advocate pain in the name of fashion.

- I could never be a hipster because I love the following things (among others) too much: sports, Bruce Springsteen, Green Day, the Dropkick Murphys, Dunkin Donuts, The Office.

- However, I could probably be mistaken for a hipster due to my love for the following things: Jack Kerouac, cardigans, writing, writing in long rambling sentences with way too many adjectives, vinyl records, big headphones.

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